Page:The sexual life of savages in north-western Melanesia.djvu/126

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THE AVENUES TO MARRIAGE

hurled abuse at each other. The girl's people said quite explicitly what they thought of Ulo Kadala, of his laziness, his incapacity for doing anything properly, and his well-known greed. "We do not want you, we shall not give her any food." This argument clinched the refusal, and that was the last attempt which the two young people made.

When the parents are well disposed and signify their pleasure in the match by asking the intended for a small present, the engaged couple must still wait for a little in order to give necessary time for the preparations. But one day the girl instead of returning in the morning to her parents' house, will remain with her husband, take her meals in the house of his parents and accompany him throughout the day. The word goes round: "Isepuna is already married to Kalogusa." Such proceedings constitute the act of marriage. There is no other rite, no other ceremony to mark the beginnings of wedlock. From the morning on which she has remained with the bridegroom, the girl is married to him, provided, of course, the consent of the parents has been given. Without this, as we have seen, the act constitutes only an attempt at marriage. Though utterly simple, this act of remaining with the man, of openly sharing a meal with him, and of staying under his roof, has a legally binding force. It is the conventional public declaration of marriage. It has serious consequences, for it changes the life of the two concerned, and it imposes considerable obligations on the girl's family, obligations associated in turn with counter-obligations on the part of the bridegroom.

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