2
THE CONSENT OF THE WIFE's FAMILY
Permanent liaisons which are on the point of ripening into marriage become known and are talked about in the village, and now the girl's family, who, so far, have taken no interest in her love affairs, who have, indeed, kept ostentatiously aloof, must face the fact about to be accomplished, and make up their minds whether or no they will approve it. The man's family, on the other hand, need show little interest in a matter in which they have practically no say. A man is almost entirely independent with regard to matrimony, and his marriage, which will be a matter of constant and considerable effort and worry to his wife's family, will continue to lie completely outside the sphere of his own people's concerns.
It is remarkable that, of all the girl's family, the person who has most to say about her marriage, although legally he is not reckoned as her kinsman (veyola) is her father. I was astonished when this information was given to me early in the course of my field work, but it was fully confirmed later on by observation. This paradoxical state of affairs becomes less incomprehensible, however, if we bring it into relation with certain rules of morals and etiquette, and with the economic aspect of marriage. One would naturally expect a girl's brothers and maternal kinsmen to take the most important part in deliberations concerning her marriage, but the strict taboo which rules that the brother must have nothing at all to
