Punch/Volume 147/Issue 3820/Essence of Parliament
(Extracted from the Diary of Toby, M.P.)
House of Commons, Monday, Sept. 14.—House met to-day with proud feeling of altered circumstance. A fortnight ago things looked bad in France. Allied Armies were continuing prolonged retreat not made more acceptable by being officially named "Retirement." A detailed narrative compiled in neighbourhood of the Army had described the little British Force, long fighting at odds of four to one, as "broken to pieces."
Seemed as if Paris were on verge of another triumphal entry by German forces: France on eve of a second Sedan.
To-day a more hurried retreat is daily accumulating speed. This time it is the invader who, in order to avoid final disaster, is racing back to the comparative safety of his own country, whilst French and British, elate with repeated victory, hang with uncomfortable closeness on his heels.
"In the matter of carefully planned advance and sudden withdrawal, we have," said the Member for Sark, "a parallel episode in our own military history. You remember how 'the gallant Duke of York' on an expedition to Flanders had 'twice ten thousand men,' how he 'marched them up to the top of the hill And marched them down again'? The simple verse lends itself with easy adaptability to present circumstances of our old friend the Emperor William:—
The gallant plumed Wilhelm
Had twice a million men;
He marched them up to Paris town
And marched them back again."
As in depressing circumstances of a fortnight ago the House betrayed no sign of dejection or variation from resolve to see the fight out to a finish, so to-day it does not present itself in mafficking mood. It is nevertheless more than ever resolved, at whatever cost of blood or treasure, to make an end of the throned Kaiser and his system of militarism, the curse of Europe these more than twenty years. Wherein it is truly representative of the nation.
Business done.—Premier announces that Prorogation will be accomplished before end of week, with incidental consequence of addition to Statute Book under Parliament Act of Bills establishing Home Rule in Ireland and disestablishing Church in Wales.
Tuesday.—A sitting of alarums and excursions, especially excursions.
Premier introduced Bill suspending for twelve months, or longer if War lasts, operation of Home Rule Bill and Welsh Church Bill, which, in accordance with Parliament Act, will on Prorogation be automatically added to Statute Book. In speech which Bonar Law described as "temperate and moderate," he defended himself from charges of broken pledges brought against him by gentlemen opposite.
"I shall endeavour to imitate him," said Leader of Opposition.
Got along moderately well till, "resuming the offensive," as despatches from the Seat of War have it, he lapsed into comparison between conduct of Premier and the action of the Kaiser in his "infamous proposal" that this country should connive in breach of common pledge to preserve neutrality of Belgium.
Here broke forth shouts of angry protest from Ministerialists. Winston, who can't abear strong languge, rose from Treasure Bench and stalked forth behind the Speaker's chair, example numerously followed above and below Gangway.
This excursion number one. Number two, more exhaustive of audience, followed when Bonar Law, having concluded his speech, shook from off his feet the dust of the House and walked out, accompanied by entire body of Opposition.
Mr. Flavin, not liking to see Front Opposition Bench desolate, moved down from accustomed seat in Irish quarter and temporarily assumed place and attitude of Leader of Opposition.
Byles of Bradford proposed to offer a few words of counsel and farewell. His interposition received with such shout of contumely from friends and neighbours that he incontinently dropped back into his seat.
Premier observed walking towards glass door under the Gallery. Surely he too was not going to leave us? No. Was merely acting in accordance with immemorial custom that when Minister or Member "brings in" a Bill he must start on his journey at the Bar. As he walked to the Table, a sheet of foolscap paper in right hand, Liberals and Nationalists leapt to their feet waving hats and handkerchiefs, cheering like madmen.
Business done.—Bill postponing operation of Home Rule and Welsh Church Acts till close War carried through all its stages.
House of Lords, Thursday.—Secretary of State for War takes kindly to new position. His statement to-day, explanatory of general military situation, a model of lucidity and brevity. Had much of the charm of French's historic despatch, the modesty and simplicity of which delighted everybody. One omission in the document Kitchener generously supplied. French said nothing of his own share in accomplishment of feat of arms rarely paralleled. Amid cheers unusually warm for this Chamber, Kitchener paid tribute to "the consummate skill and calm courage of the Commander-in-Chief."
Tribute also paid in another quarter, the more valuable as it came from a man of few words and no disposition towards flattery. "The Territorial Forch is making great strides in efficiency," the War Lord said, "and will before many months be ready to take a share in the campaign. This force is proving its military value to the Empire by the willing subordination of personal feelings to the public good in the acceptance of whatever duty may be assigned to it in any portion of the Empire."
Business done.—Suspensory Bill agrees to without insistence on St. Aldwyn's Amendment to Welsh Church Disestablishment Bill.
House of Commons, Friday.—Circulation of Official Report of Commission of Inquiry into Atrocities in Belgium creates profound sensation.
When the Manager of the Itinerant Theatrical Company of which Nicholas Nickleby and Smike were for a time Members caused the insertion in a local paper of a paragraph stating "Mr. Crummles is not a Prussian," there was some obscurity about his object. It is now clear that his instinct was sure, his prevision acute. After experience of last seven weeks all decent-minded men would like it to be known that they are not Prussians.
Business done.—Parliament prorogued.