offering of crops (the vilakuria), and this interval in the exchange of gifts lasts until betrothal culminates in actual marriage.
This concludes the preliminary exchange of gifts at infant betrothal. Although it is called by the natives a marriage, the de facto difference between betrothal and marriage is recognized in the explicit statements of the natives and in custom, for when the two grow up they have to marry again. The bride, that is, has to go officially to the bridegroom's house, share his bed there, take her meals with him and be publicly announced to have married him. The initial gifts of ordinary marriage, however (Nos. 1-4 of the table in sec. 3) are omitted on this occasion. Only the large harvest gift (vilakuria), and its repayment (takwalela vilakuria) are exchanged.
But before this stage is reached and the two are safely married, a somewhat difficult course has to be steered. Although nobody seriously expects the young people to be chaste and faithful to each other, appearances have to be kept up. A flagrant transgression of the obligation to the betrothed would be resented by the offended party, and with some exaggeration called "adultery." It is considered a great shame to the girl if her fiancé openly has a liaison with someone else, and she on her side must not make a bukumatula her permanent abode either in the company of her betrothed or of anyone else; nor may she go to other villages on those avowedly sexual expeditions called katuyausi (see ch. ix, sec. 7). Both parties to the betrothal must carry on their amours discreetly and sub rosa. This, of course, is neither easy nor pleasant for
