Pleadings for the Dumb. By the Rev. Francis Orpen Morris, B.A.
Chaplain to His Grace the Duke of Cleveland.
No. 1.—An Apology for the Hedgehog.
Clergyman.—What is that your man is bringing here?
Farmer Goodman.—Oh! it is only a hedgehog, Sir, which the boys caught this forenoon.
C.—And what are you going to do with it, may I ask?
G.—They are taking it home, Sir, for the dogs to kill: they are fond of a little sport, as they call it. They will kill it at dinner-time.
C.—I hope not. I never like to see or hear of anything cruel.
G.—No Sir, nor I; but then, you know, vermin must be killed and the dogs soon make an end of it.
C.—I know that destructive animals must be kept within proper limits, and not be allowed to increase upon us, so as to become extensively injurious; but even they do some good in return for their mischief: and at all events the hedgehog is not one of that sort.
G.—Not a varmint, Sir? O, you don't know half the mischief it does! Why my wife could tell you how they milk the cows.
C.—Well Mr. Goodman, as your good wife will not, for a great many years, be an old woman, I shall not run any risk of offending either her or you by telling you that that is neither more nor less than an old wives' fable.
G.—Ha, ha, ha! Well, I shall tell her of that compliment you have paid her. Ha, ha, ha! But still, Sir, I really think the charge is true.
C.—You know, Mr. Goodman, that I never think half an hour ill spent in talking with any of my parishioners, and least of all with you, (another compliment, you will say, but it really is not so); and on the present occasion particularly I shall be very glad if you can give me your attention while I endeavour to convince you that the hedgehog does good instead of harm, and I am sure you will hear
