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The Green Bag Hardy Tongue might the Court, him should never bull-doze. What, vox et praeterea nihil for him! He would first to my lord's jurisdiction except; The Nose and himself being of kindred so close, Affection might warp his rich-stored intellect, Pestle Eyes in that mortar a somewhat vile dose. Owed the spectacles quite no insignificant debt To the Ears, which assisted to keep them in place; So, if Nose be their saddle, 'twas safe enough bet That, minus girth, they would slip from the face. Conceiving a suit by the Ears had been brought Against these utensils (perhaps to annoy meant), For injury claimed through the Nose to have been wrought, He defense would set up of a common employment. They must hold, in this view, Ears and Nose, equal rank, Each being of the Eyes made a worthy auxiliar; So what has full oft turned an enemy's flank Would scarce avail here — the respondent superior. Discovering, then, anatomic propinquity (Itself ground sufficient to make out his plea) And — what he alleged before — use's affinity; Nose, in brief, Tweedledum, and Ears Tweedledee, It must have to all grown amazingly clear (While none may the lore of that jurist impeach) That palpable interest Chief Baron Ear Will a judgment impartial by no means let reach. Every just code of law doth the maxim enshrine (Old it as the hills) Audi alteram partem; Helps greatly the rule parties' rights to define, "Brakes put on yourwheels," cried the Nose. ("Oh, why start 'em'?") From his clients should eyelashes never be clave, And if losers, they might be thus painfully amerced, Without a hard struggle their bacon to save, "Armed and well prepared" e'en to submit to the worst. Dare one (with a fragment of conscience) assert Honor, value to be the sole heritage of Nose — Eyes cutting no ice, something vacuous, inert? As well deem the foot just a family of toes.
