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The Green Bag
From the Constitutional Telegraph, Boston, Dec. 25, 1799.] The Lawyer's
Fee
By P. FRENEAU A MODERN TALE A Lawyer once in a certain town refided, Whofe eye-teeth had been cut; he well knew men; Of paltry fuits he ever had abundance, And ftill his fee was two pound ten. When neighbours quarrel' d, fome about pig Breaking thro' fence, & rooting up potatoes, Law was the word, and each as angry feem'd As if the hungry pig had gnaw'd their great toes. The Lawyer faw, and faw with keen delight, That wrangle was the order of the day; And took his meafures to infure advantage, From every quarrel, tavern broil, and fray. As bufinefs hove in faft, he pafted up A caveat in his fhop to warn all men That if they came to him to afk advice, In whate'er cafe, his fee was two pound ten. Sometimes a farmer's limits were difputed, Which law alone could hope to reconcile; And many weighty arguments were urg'd, Of fixing breadths two inches by a mile. Then came a widow in a mighty fret; It feems her hen had pick'd fome grains of rye From neighbour Bumpkin's hundred acre crop, And juftice he would have, or he knew why. Ah! (faid the lawyer) thefe are happy times, Things now are getting right; I tho't that men Would fometimes have millennium—yes its come, I fee it plain, it lies in two pound ten. Thus things went on for many a pleafant year; The lawyer plead for all, and made them pay His ufual fee; at laft grown very rich, And hairs, as fate would have it, rather gray. Difeafe attack'd, he made his will and died; And when approaching near old Satan's den, What's the admiffion ticket? faid the guide, Why, quoth the devil, it is two pound ten.
