Page:The Green Bag (1889–1914), Volume 18.pdf/347

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320

THE GREEN BAG

never will — but by common sense and com mon honesty between man and man. That's our business; and the curse of God is upon us if we neglect or turn aside from that. And now, Mr. Sheriff, take out the jury; and you, Mr. Foreman, don't keep us waiting with idle talk — too much o' that a'ready! about mat ters that have nothin' to do with the merits of this 'ere case. Give us an honest verdict that common sense men needn't be ashamed on. — Springfield Republican. Both Bankrupt. — My client Beebe, after a series of misfortunes, trying to work a copper mine, without money, sickness in his family, etc., was involved deeply, but hesitated long about filing a petition in bankruptcy on ac count of the marked kindness of one creditor, John James, and his consequent fear of James's reproaches. He braced himself to it, however, on my assurance that he could afterwards pay James without reviving any other debt. As the day of his creditors' meeting grew near, his fear of meeting James worked on him. I assured him that as he had no property the chances of meeting James there were very re mote, but when we arrived at the referee's office, there sat a man whom from the ex pression of Beebe I knew to be James. Each avoided speaking. Beebe was whispering to me that he was going; he would abandon the whole matter, when the referee announced: "We have two matters for this afternoon, creditors' meeting of Beebe, a bankrupt, cred itors' meeting of James," a bankrupt; which shall we hear first? " Both faces relaxed. Each gave a cordial nod. Source of Sherman Hoar's Law. — When the late Sherman Hoar, a lawyer of recog nized ability, left the law school and opened an office in Boston, his father, Judge Hoar, was at the height of his legal reputation. The young man's first client was an Irish man, and the case, though only some small matter of a boundary line, was one that re quired the examination of a number of deeds and records. Mr. Hoar accordingly told his

client to come back in two days for his opinion.

The Irishman left the office, evidently very reluctant at the delay. Turning at the door, he asked: " Couldn't ye give me the answer to-morrow, Misther Hoar?" "No, no," was the reply; " come on Thurs day." The client went as far as the stairs. Then he turned and tiptoed back to the door and put his head inside, with a finger at his lips. "Whist! " he whispered. " Couldn't ye get to see your father to-night, Misther Hoar?" — Boston Herald. Got There First. — The Judge. — " But if you tooted your horn, how is it that the plain tiff did not hear you in time to get out of the way?" "The Defendant — " I am convinced, your Honor, that the accident was due entirely to the inferior velocity of sound." — Pick-Me- Up. Not There. — " Judge," said Mrs. Starvem to the magistrate who had recently come to board with her, "I'm particularly anxious to have you try this chicken soup." "I have tried it," replied the magistrate, "and my decision is that the chicken has proved an alibi." — Philadelphia Press. Byles on Bills. — Among the humorous memories connected with English judges is one of Justice Byles and his horse. This em inent jurist was well known in his profession for his work on " Bills," and as this gave a fine opportunity for alliteration his associates were accustomed to bestow the name on the horse, which was but a sorry steed. " There goes Byles on Bills," they took pleasure in saying, and as the judge rode out every after noon they indulged daily in their little joke. But the truth was that the horse had another name, known only to the master and his man, and when a too curious client inquired as to the judge's whereabouts he was told by the servant, with a clear conscience, that " master was out on Business."