THE LIGHTER SIDE no, I am a judge on the bench.' ' Oh, you vas one of dem crowbait judges, vas you? ' ' No, no, I am a judge of the circuit court, a judge regularly elected." ' So you vas a real judge." Then, allowing his eye to rest con templatively on the judge for a moment, he started another peg, but pausing with the hammer raised in the air, he remarked, ' Say, Tom, you must be a h—1 of a judge," and once more the tap tap of his sole hammer was the only noise heard in the little room as the iudge silently withdrew." During the relating of the foregoing anec dotes by the two lawyers I had noticed a rather tall gentleman who was a very much interested listener. He now said: " Did either of you gentlemen ever attend a trial down in the mountains of West Virginia? " They both replied that they had not. Thereupon he began, " I was down in that country last fall on a matter of business and wanted to see a man by the name of Bevier, whose home was, I was told, ' some place up there.' Engaging a guide, I set out in search of him, and after riding about thirty-five miles over hills and mountains I finally came to his house but, in response to our ' halloo," his wife came to the door. My guide asked where Bevier was, when his wife said, ' He done gone ovah to the schoolhouse. Thes a trial ovah thar to-day. He tuk his gun along. Spect thar'll be doin's ovah there to-day." I asked her what the trial was about, She said that ' ole man Rawson was tryin' to make ole man Swisher pay for a dawg that Rawson sed Swisher had stole frum him." Well, we went on to the schoolhouse. On the way, my guide said to me that if I had a gun I should give it to him and he would lay it on the table, as it would be an insult to the court to enter the court room carrying a ' gun.' I had no ' gun," but my guide took his and laid it on the table, where to my intense surprise I saw two stacks, pointing every way, apparently a ' gun ' for every man in the house and there were in the neighborhood of fifty present. "The testimony was all in before we got there, but it seemed that the plaintiff had testified that Swisher had coaxed the dog away from his house and kept him, much to his damage and loss. The defendant had de nied the coaxing the dog from his neighbor, and, on the other hand, had testified that the
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dog had come to his place half starved and mangy. That out of pity he had fed him and taken care of him, as a stray dog, and that even if it was Rawson "s dog, he should not have any damages against Swisher, as the dog was now well and hearty and in better condi tion than when it left Rawson's. "By the time my informant had furnished me the evidence, the justice was ready with his decision, which was ' that Swisher should return the dog to Rawson and pay the costs in the case, which would be one dollar and one half." Then there was much whispering and careful searching of pockets among the adherents of Swisher, but the entire amount the whole crowd could raise was just fifty cents. Thereupon the court ordered the con stable to keep Swisher in custody, until the dollar was forthcoming. Court then ad journed; the men gathered up their ' guns * and filed out. My guide whispered to me that if the men mounted their horses and began to spur them and make them ' cavort ' around that I should seek cover, as there would surely be something 'doin'.' Just out side of the door was a very large tree. The constable and his prisoner had barely crossed the threshold, when somebody said something to the constable that attracted his attention for the moment. Quick as a flash, Swisher gave a jump, and was behind that tree, and then you ought to have seen him run. The hound that was the subject of the trial could not have caught him as he went flying up the side of the hill, running zigzag to avoid any possible bullets that might come his way. A great hubbub arose, and the justice coming to the door, and seeing the crestfallen constable minus his prisoner, shouted, ' You constable, I'll hold you for the dollar costs; you'll pay me that dollar yourself.' With a nasty growl the constable whirled, and with a savage oath stuck a big ' gun ' at the old justice, accom panied with the order, ' You old fool, you git in thar and shet youah mouth,' which order the J. P. promptly obeyed. There was a hasty mounting of horses, with spurs driven home, and such rearing and plunging, accom panied by confused swearing, that I also, fol lowing the old justice's example, took to cover by running behind the schoolhouse. But anxious to see what was going on, I risked peering around the corner; the factions had
