And I'll never take work I'm unable to do (Said I to myself, said I). My learned profession I'll never disgrace By taking a fee with a grin on my face, When I haven't been there to attend to the case (Said I to myself, said I). Gilbertian judges are fond of indulging in reminiscences of their forensic days. Mr. Gilbert seldom aims his shafts of wit at the Bench, though Ko Ko, in "The Mikado," includes in his long list of social offenders who never will be missed, " That Nisi Prius nuisance, who just now is rather rife, the Judicial Humorist." He is accustomed to make his occupants of the Bench the vehicles of his satire on the methods of the Bar. Even the judge in "Trial by Jury" — "and a good judge, too"— is chiefly occupied in explaining how he came to be a judge. He fell in love with "a rich attorney's elderly, ugly daughter," who might " very well pass for forty-three, in the dusk, with a light be hind her," and that rich attorney promised he should reap the reward of his pluck "at the Bailey and Middlesex Sessions." The rich attorney was good as his word, The briefs came trooping gaily, And every day my voice was heard At the sessions or Ancient Bailey. All thieves who could my fees afford Relied on my orations, And many a burglar I've restored To his friends and his relations.
A marvellous Philologist who'll undertake to show That " Yes " is but another and a neater form of "No." This description of his marvellous powers is evidently not displeasing to the honourable and learned gentleman, for he is candid enough to add : — All preconceived ideas on any subject I can scout. And demonstrate beyond all possibility of doubt. That whether you're an honest man or whether you're a thief Depends on whose solicitor has given me a brief. Solicitors take a legitimate pride in the fact that Sir Henry Fowler was the first practising member of their branch of the profession to become a Cabinet Minister. Long before, however, Sir Henry Fowler became a Secretary of State for India, the the author of "H.M.S. Pinafore " perceived how excellent a stepping-stone to the post of First Lord of the Admiralty was a stool in a solicitor's office. Sir Joseph Porter, who, while an office boy " polished up the handle on the big front door," contrived to make his mark even as a junior clerk in an attorney's office. That For In I wore serving the anclean pass articled writs collars examination Iclerk made andI soon such a at brand-new the became a name Institute. suit
And that pass examination did so well for me, That now I am the Ruler of the Queen's Navee!
Anplease eminent
- Logician who can make it clear to you
Two other members of the solicitor branch of the profession have been admitted at the Savoy. There is the notary in "The Sor cerer," who, " dry and snuffy, deaf and slow," is " everything that girls detest," and there is the more attractive notary in "The Grand Duke," who sings of the Prince who " passed an Act, short and compact, which may be briefly stated." Unlike the complicated laws, A parliamentary draftsman draws, It may be briefly stated.
That black is white — when looked at from the proper point of view;
One of the best pieces of satire in Mr. Gilbert's plays is to be found in "The
Members of the Bar figure but little in Mr. Gilbert's plays. Almost the only bar rister his wit and fancy have created is Sir Bailey Barre, Q.C., M.P., in " Utopia," of whom Princess Zara sings : — A complicated gentleman allow me to present, Of all the arts and faculties the terse embodiment, He's a great Arithmetician who can demonstrate That withtwo ease and two are three, or five, or anything you
