The Barrister s Shakespeare.
525
THE BARRISTER'S SHAKESPEARE. Supreme Court of Ven1ce, Part Water, before Hon. The Duke, C.J. Percy Algernonagainst Shylock, Plaintiff
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Antonio W. Smith, Defendant
DEFENDANT'S ANSWER. The defendant, by his attorney, Portia Hennessy, answering the complaint of the plaintiff herein, deposes and says: I. That the quality of mercy is not strained, nor any part nor parcel thereof in any manner, way or shape whatsoever. II. That he denies having called the aforesaid plaintiff " cut-throat " and "dog" upon Wednesday ult., and that he did not "spit upon his Jewish gaberdine." III. In respect to the matters' set forth in paragraph II., the defendant alleges that the plaintiff's proper remedy is either in assault or libel, and that the allegations thereof con tained in plaintiff's complaint should be stricken out as irrelevant and scandalous. III. The defendant admits that he bor rowed the sum of three thousand ducats from the plaintiff. IV. The defendant alleges that in pay ment of the aforesaid debt, he offered one (1) ounce of anthracite of far greater value than the sum aforesaid, or than one (1) pound of flesh, said flesh being fatty and not having hung for any length of time; and he further alleges that the plaintiff refused said offer and demanded his bond.
V. The defendant further alleges that the plaintiff is not a nice man anyway. Wherefore, the defendant demands that judgment be rendered for him, together with the costs of this action and the right to marry his attorney to his friend, and half of the goods of the plaintiff, and any other re lief that the court may decide upon as just, provided there be anything else left to grant. BELMONT COUNTY $ $ Portia Hennessy, being duly sworn, deposes and says that she is the attorney of the de fendant in this action, that she has read the foregoing answer and knows it to be true except as to those parts alleged to be on information and belief, and as to those parts she has a strong hunch it is true. The means of her information is the necessity for Act IV. The reasons why this verification is made by her and not by the defendant is because he is a' dope and a fat-head and hasn't sense enough to do it himself. P, Hennessy. Sworn at before me this Ides of March, 1342K A.n. Macbeth Macready MacCullough, [Ye Seal.] Notforthe Public.
