Gentlemen of the Jury. Q. Do you ever expect to know any thing about it? . A. Q. Are I am.you going to conduct the case? A. Then, no, sir. Q. Do you want to know anything about the case? A. No, sir. O. Have you read anything about the case? A. Yes, sir. Q. I thought you said you did not know anything about the case. A. I don't. I read about it in The Even ing Fake. Q. Have you any opinion? A. Yes. that I haven't any. Q. Did you ever have an opinion? A. Not while my wife was present. Q. Did your father ever have an opinion? A. The Supreme Court ga^e u.ii. rone that said, "Conviction affirmed. O. You had a brother who was cashier in a bank; did he ever have an opinion? A. No, but the stockholders did. Q. Can you read? A. Everything but Scotch dialect. Q. Do you use tobacco in any form? A. Yes, any form. Q. Do you ever drink? A. Thanks, but take one yourself first. Q. Do you know anything about the fundamental principles of law? A. Yes, sir; clean breaks and no hitting in clinches. Q. Anything else? A. Well, every man is presumed to be guilty until he is proven innocent. Q. Have you served as a juror in this court within a year? A. No, sir; our supervisor has it in for me. By this time counsel will have come to the conclusion you are anxious to get on this the defendant particular in jury. a hoarse He will whisper hurriedly if he ask has • ever run over you with a bicycle, or if his dog has ever bitten you in the leg. Then
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he will lay his finger on his forehead and think until the courthouse wobbles trying to devise some questions that will put you out of business as a juryman. Finally he will pop something like this at you: "Did you ever ask a man if it was cold enough or hot enough for him?" This is your cue. If you do not want to sit on the jury simply answer yes. The at torney will then gaze triumphantly at the Court, His Honor will rub his eyes and ex claim, "Stand aside," and all is over. Speaking of juries, brings to mind the first case that was tried in one of the pioneer counties of Missouri in the early days. There had been crimes committed in this county before, but never had it occurred to the citizens to make the trial a strictly formal function. It so happened, however, that a roustabout with an appreciation for good horseflesh had been caught some twenty miles from camp one day riding away the best broncho in the place. The date was July 2, and it suddenly occurred to the chairman of the executive committee for the Fourth of July, always on the lookout for novelties, to have the fellow tried by jury as one of the features of the celebration. The scheme at once met with popular acclaim. The respondent, by name Buster Pete, was locked up in an improvised jail in the cellar of the "HO-tel," where he succeeded in assimilating a jag from an unguarded cask of forty-rod that raised him considerably in the eyes of the community. Indeed, as the Fourth approached there began to creep about a doubt of his guilt. There was nothing really to give a rumor of his inno cence credence, but it added zest to the pro ceedings and drew out the biggest crowd the county seat had seen since the hotel was opened with a grand ball. The presiding judge, who had also been marshal of the parade and orator, besides helping out the hotel bar-tender during the rush, called the case as soon as the noonday dinner had been eaten. The trial was held in the bar-room, which also served the com
