By Irving Browne.
CURRENT TOPICS.
PRESTON'S EMTAPH. — In one of his notes in ю English Ruling Cases (p. 814), the learned editor, Mr. Robert Campbell, sets forth Sir George Rose's epitaph on Preston, the great conveyancer, which is new to us. It runs as follows : — "Stern death hath cast into abeyance here A most renowned conveyancer. Then lightly on his head be laid The sod, that he so oft conveyed. In certain faith and hope lie sure is. His soul, like a seintilia juris. In nnbil>us expectant lies, To raise a freehold in the skies."
MICROHES. — The end of this century is an era of fads, and the most novel and persistent fad of science that has ever crept into the human brain is that of Microbes. Pretty much everything wrong, certainly almost everything in the nature of disease, nowa days is laid at the door of Microbes. People are growing so scary that they are almost afraid to shake hands, and it would not seem strange to see them doing it through the medium of a stick, as they are wont in plague time in some countries. The very latest discovery in this direction is that baldness, hitherto attributed to intense mental application or too persistent occupation of the front row at ballet performances, is the work of Microbes. Over-pro duction is the bane of modern social conditions, and this seems to be the vice of the modern Microbe family. The scare has invaded the church, and the deadly worm lurks in the sacred cup at communion, so that modern science prescribes individual glasses, which being passed around on trays fearfully resemble the distribution of liquors at a restaurant. Even Cupid has had a scare, and is chary of allowing his devotees to kiss one another, thus depriving court ship of one of its chiefest attractions and casting a damp on the matrimonial market. But before the Microbe business was discovered there was one species of osculation which always seemed to the Chairman to be extremely loathesome, — so much so that he early contracted scruples of conscience
against it, and, on the few occasions when he has been called as a witness, has insisted on being sworn with the uplifted hand, instead of kissing that greasy volume which a super-serviceable officer is always thrusting at the lips of the witness. The very smell of the book is frequently offensive. The constable's fingers are an offense, to say nothing of the countless forms of foulness which lurk upon the thousands of lips which press it. London '• Truth " has precisely phrased the Chairman's sentiments on this subject, in recent verse, as follows : — THE BOOK OF LIFE — AND DEATH. "The book is an old one; its pages are stained; Its covers with layers of grease are engrained; Its edges, which once were by gilding made gay, Have been dog-eared and damp for full many a day: Its leather, which must have been new at some time, Is now black with dirt and all sticky with grime; In short — not to dwell on such features too much — 'Tis a bad book to smell and a worse one to touch. The chemist, on subtle analysis bound, Fine scope for research in this volume lias found : In its iilth-crusted covers by him, as a fact, Most inimical germs to their lairs have been track'd : Of the microbes which rollick in dirt and in damp, His lens has displayed (]uite a populous camp; Nay, of noxious bacilli which act as a leaven In sundry diseases, he's hap'd upon seven! And what do you think is this badly used tome, In which the pus cocci is too much at home: This book, which neglect has contrived to convert Into such an amalgam of mildew and dirt? What, what is this volume which science affirm* Is the domicile now of a legion of germs? In the very next line you an answer may slip on — It's the testament used in the court house at Ripon! The hale and the wholesome, the sick and unclean, The saint and the sinner, its kissers have been; Till it now may be said it fairly belongs To such things as should only be touched with the tongs."
ROMAN LAW LADIES. — In his agreeable "Cau serie," in the December number of the Canada Law Journal, Mr. Charles Morse gives us to understand 279
