Page:The Green Bag (1889–1914), Volume 04.pdf/198

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Some annunciator. The federal judge confiden tially "gave him away " next day to one or two members, and enjoyed a good laugh at his expense, which was good-naturedly received by the victim of the joke. A leading member of the Missouri Bar, a tall and dignified Southerner, while a splen did lawyer and advocate, is very slow of speech, having a natural impediment which he cannot overcome. On a hot summer afternoon he began to argue a case to a judge, who, well-nigh worn out by a long session, and somewhat irritable, thought lessly remarked to the advocate, as he be gan slowly : — "Cut it short, Major , cut it short." The attorney flushed, paused for a mo ment, but recovered himself, and concluded his argument, when the judge took the case under advisement and retired to his cham bers. He had scarcely seated himself at his desk, when Major entered, and seeing they were alone, locked the door, and put the key in his pocket. He advanced toward the judge, drew his tall, powerful form up to full height, and with anger and determina tion gleaming in his eyes, said, — "Judge , you insulted me a few hours ago, without cause. I ' cut it short ' for no man, and we will settle the matter while here alone." The judge was thoroughly alarmed, and after apology and much persuasion the advocate forgave him. But the judge told a friend that on no battle-field during the Civil War was he more frightened than during those few moments in chambers. A handsome and brilliant advocate of the North Missouri Bar is addicted to stimu lating freely during each term of the court, 23

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so that by the end of the term he is usually what the boys term "comfortably full." At the end of a term not long since, he was in this condition, and his co-counsel was sub mitting to the court motions for new trial and in arrest in a case in which they had that day been defeated, so as to appeal. He caught some of the words of what was going on, and stepping to the side of the other attorney, with much difficulty steadied his tall form erect. The court said, — "Let the motions be overruled, and you can perfect your appeal." "Yes, your honor," said the bibulous at torney, "just — hie — let the motions be overfiled, and — hie — we 'll 'peal the case." At Moberly, Missouri, recently, a lady while passing along the street was bitten by a vicious dog. She went before the proper authority . and made complaint, whereupon the justice issued a warrant for the appre hension of both the dog and its owner. Upon trial, the evidence was to the effect that the dog was a dangerous animal, and the owner, although knowing the fact, had failed to guard properly against accidents liable to result from his wicked disposition. After hearing the evidence and exhaustive argument of counsel, pro and con, Judge McNinch, the justice, fined the owner $$, with costs, and sentenced the dog to death. The owner, however, appealed his case, and obtained a stay of execution in the dog's behalf, pending the result of a trial in the circuit court. The justice required him to give bond for the good behavior of his brute, and that he would produce him for execution, in the event the judgment was affirmed by the appellate court.