Page:The Green Bag (1889–1914), Volume 02.pdf/158

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Editorial Department.

tors' mistakes are buried six feet under ground, a lawyer's are not." "No," replied Warren; " but they are some times hung as many feet above ground." The advantage was with the doctor. It was on the other side, when, disputing as to the comparative merits of their professions, Sir Henry Holland said to Bobus Smith, ex-AdvocateGeneral, " You must admit that your profession does not make angels of men? " and the lawyer replied, " There you have the best of it; yours certainly does." Judge. You are a freeholder? Prospective Juryman. Yes, sir. Judge. Married or single? Prospective Juryman. Married three years ago last month. Judge. Have you formed or expressed any opinion? Prospective Juryman. Not for three years past. — Neiv Jersey Law Journal.

The following droll incident is related as having taken place in one of the municipal courts of Boston, on the trial of a prisoner charged with theft, who pleaded drunkenness in extenuation. Court (to the policeman who was a witness). What did the man say when you arrested him? Witness. He said he was drunk. Court. I want his precise words, just as he uttered them. He did n't use the pronoun he, did he? He did n't say " He was drunk "? Witness. Oh, yes, he did. He said he was drunk; he acknowledged the corn. Court (getting impatient at the witness's stu pidity). You don't understand me at all; I want the words as he uttered them. Didn't he say, "I was drunk "? Witness (deprecatingly). Oh, no, your Honor. He did n't say you were drunk; I would n't allow any man to charge that upon you in my presence. Prosecutor. Pshaw! you don't comprehend at all. His honor means, Did not the prisoner say to you, " I was drunk "? Witness (reflectively). Well, he might have said you was drunk, but I didn't hear him. Attorney for Prisoner What the court de sires is to have you state the prisoner's own words,

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preserving the precise form of pronoun that he made use of in reply. Was it the first person, /, second person, thou, or the third person, he, she, or it i Now, then [with severity], upon your oath did n't my client say, " I was drunk "? Witness (getting mad). No, he didn't say you was drunk, either; but if he had, I reckon he wouldn't 'a' lied any. Do you s'pose the poor fellow charged this whole court with being drunk?

Lawyers and litigants in the extreme Down Town District in the city of New York will recol lect Denis Quinn, who dispensed justice according to his lights (or was it his liver?) during six years in the brown stone building at the corner of Centre and Chambers Streets. He was an ardent Irish patriot; and one of his utterances, which was not born to die, was, " Sor, I view with allarum to our institutions the rapid and tremenjous growth of German immigration to this land of liberty!" Hon. Denis Quinn was not the author of the say ing, " I look with equal disfavor on old jokes and new law; " but he once revolutionized the settled jurisprudence of ages, as follows : In an action for breach of contract of sale, it was meritoriously set up for the defendant that the case fell within the Statute of Frauds. " But there is no fraud in this ' case,' " said the Hon. Denis. " Permit me to quote the statute," replied defendant's counsel; and proceeded to do so. "Yis," exclaimed Denis, " imported, as I have been given to under stand into our statute-books from England, and calculated to disturb and shatter all confidence be tween man and man; as if a man could n't make a lawful bargain if, owing to the poverty of his parents, he had n't learned to write. Sor, I overrule the Statute of Frauds! Niver plead it again in this court, if you expect to be heard I" The following is a copy of a letter received from England, a few days ago, by the Police Commis sioner of New York, — Dear Sir: I write these few lines to ask you if you have any place for the hangman billet i Say that Elect Scott is no good for Execution I have a good Knot to hang murders on i wisch to noh if you by so kind and let my noh I noh I schall suit you in the billet as a Hangman i will schowyou the Knot on the paper so good all I Kann so I have no more to say and 1 are your obligent servant. A. Packoeke.