think of approaching her, and of giving her the trouble to endure my sight? Which way could I justify myself? I have no excuse; I am unworthy of the least regard from madam de Cleves, and I even despair of her ever looking upon me: I have given her, by my own fault, better means of defending herself against me than any she was searching for, and perhaps searching for to no purpose. I lose by my imprudence the glory and happiness of being loved by the most beautiful and deserving lady in the world; but if I had lost this happiness, without involving her in the most extreme grief and sufferings at the same time, I should have had some comfort; for at this moment I am more sensible of the harm I have done her, than of that I have done myself in forfeiting her favour.
The duke de Nemours continued turning the same thoughts over and over, and tormenting himself a great while: the desire he had to speak to madam de Cleves came constantly into his mind; he thought of the means to do it; he thought of writing to her; but at last he found, considering the fault he had committed and the temper she was in, his best way was to show her a profound respect by his affliction and his silence, to let her see he durst not present himself before her, and to wait for what time, chance, and the inclination she had for him, might produce to his advantage: he resolved also not to reproach the viscount de Chartres for his unfaithfulness, for fear of confirming his suspicions.
The preparations for the espousals and marriage of Madame on the next day, so entirely took up the thoughts of the court, that madam de Cleves and the duke de Nemours easily concealed from the public their grief and uneasiness. The queen-dauphin spoke but slightly to madam de Cleves of the conversation they had had with the duke de Nemours; and monsieur de Cleves industriously shunned speaking to his wife of what was past; so that she did not find herself under so much embarrassment as she had imagined.
