other for me. This may ſeem a wide word: but it is no fancy nor deluſion: it is true.———Let my Lord's name be exalted, and, if he will, let my name be grinded to pieces, that he may be all in all. If he ſhould ſlay me ten thouſand times, I will truft.'———He often repeated Jer. xv. 16. The words were found of me, and I did eat them.
When exhorting one to diligence, he ſaid, 'I is no eaſy thing to be a Chriſtian. For me, I have got the victory, and Chriſt is holding out both him arms to embrace me.' At another time, to ſome friends preſent, he ſaid, 'At the beginning of my ſufferings, I had mine own fears, like other sinse men, leſt I ſhould faint, and not be carried creditably through, and I laid this before the Lord, and as ſure as ever he ſpoke to me in his word, as ſure as his Spirit witneſſeth to my heart, he hath accepted my ſufferings. He ſaid to me, Fear not the outgate ſhall not be ſimply matter of prayer but matter of praiſe. I ſaid to the Lord, If he ſhould ſlay me five thouſand times five thouſand, would truſt in him: and I ſpeak with much trembling, fearing I ſhould not make my part good but as really as ever he ſpake to me by his Spirit he witneſſed to my heart, that his grace ſhould be ſufficient.' The Thurſday night before his death being much grieved with the ſtate of the public he had this expreſſion, 'Horror hath taken hold on me.' And afterwards, falling on his own condition, he ſaid, 'I renounce all that ever he made me will and do, as defiled and imperfect, as coming from me; I betake myſelf to Chriſt for fanctification as well as juſtification:-Repeating thoſe words, He is made of God to me wiſdom, righteouſneſs, &c.———adding, I cloſe with it, let him be ſo, he is my all in all.
March 17th, three gentlewomen came to see him, and, after exhorting them to read the word.
