AN UNTRUSTWORTHY WITNESS.
Mother. "Gerald, a little bird has just told me that you have been a very naughty little boy this afternoon."
Gerald. "Don't you believe him, Mummy. I'll bet he's the one that steals our raspberries."
There are sights of all sorts in this wonderful world;
But the best of all sights in the season of hay
Is Amanda Volanda McKittrick O'Dea.
And her eyes have a glow that can dry the green sap;
She's as good as the sun's most beneficent ray,
Is Amanda Volanda McKittrick O'Dea.
She can always say "hiss me" or "bo" to a goose;
When she gives you her hand she just melts you away,
Does Amanda Volanda McKittrick O'Dea.
And her foot it was dainty, her step it was light,
And I laughed to myself to behold her so gay,
Miss Amanda Volanda McKittrick O'Dea.
And from June to December is always a tune;
All the elves when they hear it stop short in their play
For Amanda Volanda McKittrick O'Dea.
She has beautiful manners entirely her own;
But you'd better take care what you venture to say
To Amanda Volanda McKittrick O'Dea.
I've been round to her house and I've offered my love;
And she laughed and made jokes, but she didn't say nay,
My Amanda Volanda McKittrick O'Dea.
R. C. L.
"At Easter this year the ladies gave their first public performance by ringing a peal at a local wedding. The ladies now ring regularly every week. Some idea of the work may be gathered from the fact that the tenor bell weighs 11 cwt., and yet, through all the training, not even a stay has been broken."—Church Monthly.
Our feminine readers would like to know the name of the bellringers' corsetière.
From a letter to The Daily Mail:—
"One of our greatest poets was an apothecary's assistant, but his 'Ode to a Skylark' is eternal."
Hail to thee, blithe Shelley!
Keats thou never wert.
From a letter to The Market Mail:—
"I enclose my card and remains.—Yours truly, Victim."
We advise our contemporary to return the body.
