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54
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
[July 8, 1914.


Effect of the reply designedly chilling; object of question attained by publicly submitting it. Amery "wishes he hadn't spoke."

The Premier's imperturbability stood him in even greater stead at later proceedings. On going into Committee of Supply, Hope of Sheffield moved reduction of his salary on account of alleged failure to take necessary steps to maintain high standard of single-minded disinterestedness in public service. Though nominally concerned with the Premier and the public service Hope told a flattering tale which was a thinly veiled attack on that meek personage the Chancellor of the Exchequer.

Archer-Shee, who followed, was less circuitous in his retrograde march on old Marconi quarters. Soon had Committee in state of uproar vainly combated by those champions of order, Winterton, Arthur Markham and Swift MacNeill. Winterton, whilst constitutionally forceful, was irresistibly irrelevant. Member for Pontefract venturing to offer an observation, Winterton shouted, "Order, pigeons!"

Of course there were no pigeons about. An active mind, quick to seize a point, had harked back to Dick Turpin Booth's ride to Yorkshire in a race with carrier pigeons.

Markham denounced Archer-Shee for delivering "a low attack that could not be answered." Accusation summarised by other Members with yell of "Coward!"

As for Swift MacNeill, Archer-Shee SHEE presuming to rise simultaneously with one of his many upgettings, he turned upon him and roared, "Sit down, Sir!" Gallant Major so terrified that he incontinently fell back in his seat.

To general discussion Members from various quarters of House contributed the observations, "Dirty lies!" "Coward!" "Caddish!" "Unspeakably low!" "Shut up" Only for coolness, courage and prompt decision of Whitley in the Chair discreditable scene would have worthily taken its place among others that smirch pages of Parliamentary record. Having occupied two hours of time assumed to be valuable it died out from sheer exhaustion. On division what was avowedly vote of censure on Premier negatived by majority of 152.

Business done.—Summer storm in Committee of Supply.

House of Lords, Thursday.—Second night of debate on Amending Bill to modify a measure not yet enacted. House crowded, evidently weighed down by a sense of direct responsibility at grave crisis. Le brave 'Willoughby de Broke has no patience with attitude of noble lords on Front Opposition Bench. Is congenitally prone to take a short way with dissenters. Came to the fore five years ago, when what Haldane called Lloyd George's first great Budget (eclipsed by his second) fell like a bomb in the Parliamentary arena. Whilst elder peers were disposed to temporise in view of constitutional difficulty, Willoughby had only three words to say—"Throw it out!"—Milner adding a fearless remark about the consequences whose emphasis has been excelled only by Mrs. Patrick Campbell in Pygmalion. So the Budget was shattered on the rock of the House of Lords, and in swift reprisal with it went the supremacy of that ancient institution.

Less effectual in his resistance to the Parliament Act which promptly followed, De Broke is insistent upon treating the Amending Bill as the Budget of 1909 was treated. Has moved its rejection and, in spite of Halsbury, threatens to go to a division.

Meanwhile Lansdowne, in weighty speech worthy great occasion, announces intention of voting for Second Reading of Bill, with intent to amend in Committee. Originally planned that division should be taken to-night. So many peers have something to say that it is postponed till Monday.

Business done.—Debate on Amending (Home Rule) Bill continued.



THE "FRESH AIR FUND": AN APRECIATION.

"There, now, ain't that a treat, Billy? There ain't no country in the world I like so much as England."



["I have always held a decided opinion that the less people trouble themselves about literature the better for them."—M. Pierre Loti (vide "Daily Chronicle.")]

Sir Thomas Lipton. How can a tea-drinking people hope to lift the Cup? Tannin is a poison fatal to the true sportsman.

The Chancellor of the Exchequer. The interest taken in politics diverts attention from everything that really matters.

The Poet Laureate. Poetry is not only a drug on the market, it is a drug that narcotises and debilitates all true manhood.

Mr. Eustace H. Miles. Vegetarianism is fit only for pigs. The noble king of the forest is a meat-eater.

Lord Roberts. The military bias is the only obstacle to peace.

Mme. Clara Butt. The human voice was given us for fish-hawking and encouraging football-players, not for singing.

Sir H. Beerbohm Tree. I cannot think why anyone goes to the theatre. It bores me horribly.

Mr. H. G. Wells. The past alone possesses interest for intelligent men.

Mr. G. K. Chesterton. Orthodoxy, it has been said, is my doxy; heterodoxy is other people's doxy; but paradoxy is the devil's doxy.

Sir E. Elgar. Music? How can any serious man fiddle while Rome is burning?

Sir E. J. Poynter. The Royal Academy is crushing the life out of English Art. The country's only hope is in Cubism.

Signor Marinetti. Your Royal Academy is the true Temple of Art. I never cross its threshold without first removing my sandals.



A Record Cast.

"A 3 lb. 15 oz. chub has been taken at Abingdon by Mr. A. Owen near Henley."

Field.