478
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
[December 9, 1914.
THE ZEPPELIN MENACE.
A smart London cellar in war-time. Pictured by a Berlin artist.
(For the information of an ever-thirsty public.)
First Sea Lord.
This is the man whose work is War;
He plans it out in a room on shore—
He and his Staff (all brainy chaps)
With miniature flags and monster maps,
And a crew whose tackle is Hydrographic,
With charts for steering our ocean traffic.
But the task that most engrosses him
Is to keep his Fleet in fighting trim;
To see that his airmen learn the knack
Of plomping bombs on a Zeppelin's back;
To make his sailors good at gunnery,
And so to sink each floating hunnery.
He plans it out in a room on shore—
He and his Staff (all brainy chaps)
With miniature flags and monster maps,
And a crew whose tackle is Hydrographic,
With charts for steering our ocean traffic.
But the task that most engrosses him
Is to keep his Fleet in fighting trim;
To see that his airmen learn the knack
Of plomping bombs on a Zeppelin's back;
To make his sailors good at gunnery,
And so to sink each floating hunnery.
Second Sea Lord.
Here is the man who mans the Fleet
With jolly young tars that can't be beat;
He has them trained and taught the rules;
He looks to their hospitals, barracks, schools;
He notes what rumorous Osborne's doing,
And if it has mumps or measles brewing.
He fills each officer's vacant billet
(Provided the First Lord doesn't fill it);
And he casts a fatherly eye, betweens,
On that fine old corps, the Royal Marines.
This is the job that once was Jellicoe's,
But now he has one a bit more bellicose.
Here is the man who mans the Fleet
With jolly young tars that can't be beat;
He has them trained and taught the rules;
He looks to their hospitals, barracks, schools;
He notes what rumorous Osborne's doing,
And if it has mumps or measles brewing.
He fills each officer's vacant billet
(Provided the First Lord doesn't fill it);
And he casts a fatherly eye, betweens,
On that fine old corps, the Royal Marines.
This is the job that once was Jellicoe's,
But now he has one a bit more bellicose.
Third Sea Lord.
Ships are the care of the Third Sea Lord,
And all Material kept on board.
'Tis he must see that the big guns boom
And the wheels go round in the engine-room;
'Tis he must find, for cloudy forays,
Aeroplanes and Astra Torres;
And, long ere anything's sent to sea,
Tot up a bill for you and me.
Ships are the care of the Third Sea Lord,
And all Material kept on board.
'Tis he must see that the big guns boom
And the wheels go round in the engine-room;
'Tis he must find, for cloudy forays,
Aeroplanes and Astra Torres;
And, long ere anything's sent to sea,
Tot up a bill for you and me.
Fourth Sea Lord.
The Fourth Sea Lord has a deal to plan,
For he's, chief of all, the Transport man.
He finds the Fleet in coal and victuals
(Supplying the beer—if not the skittles);
He sees to the bad'uns that get imprisoned,
And settles what uniform's worn (or isn't)...
Even the stubbornest own the sway
Of the Lord of Food and the Lord of Pay!
The Fourth Sea Lord has a deal to plan,
For he's, chief of all, the Transport man.
He finds the Fleet in coal and victuals
(Supplying the beer—if not the skittles);
He sees to the bad'uns that get imprisoned,
And settles what uniform's worn (or isn't)...
Even the stubbornest own the sway
Of the Lord of Food and the Lord of Pay!
A long lean bar of silver spans
The ebon-rippled water-way,
And like a lost moon's errant ray
Strikes on the passing caravans—
The ebon-rippled water-way,
And like a lost moon's errant ray
Strikes on the passing caravans—
Ghost-ships that from the desert seas
Loom silent through the steady beams,
Pale phantoms of clusive dreams
Cargoed with ancient memories.
Loom silent through the steady beams,
Pale phantoms of clusive dreams
Cargoed with ancient memories.
Through the long night across the cool
Black waters to their shrouded berth,
Bearing the treasures of the earth,
Glide the fair ships to Liverpool.
Black waters to their shrouded berth,
Bearing the treasures of the earth,
Glide the fair ships to Liverpool.
"Londoner" in The Evening News:—
"Long life King Leopold, a faithful prince if ever there was one, as loyal to his brave Belgians as they, gallant souls that they are, are loyal to him. Does he, I wonder, ever take a look at his family pedigree?"
Because, if so, he would discover that his name was really Albert.
