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PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
[December 2, 1914.


If you elect to stay outside
And run no risk, on shore or sea,
Where men for all men's sake have died
In this the War of Liberty
(The same whose figure points the pilot's way,
Larger than life, in New York Bay);—

If you prefer to fold your hands
And watch us, at your guarded ease,
Straining our strength to sweep the lands
Clean of a deadly foul disease,
Which must, unless our courage find a cure,
Fall on your children, swift and sure;—

Stay out by all means; none shall ask
The help that your free will declined;
We'll bear as best we may the task
That duty's call to us assigned;
And you shall reap, ungrudged, in happier years
The harvest of our blood and tears.

Only—when this long fight is done,
And, breathing Freedom's purer air,
You share the vantage we have won—
Think not the honour, too, to share;
The honour shall be theirs and theirs alone
By whom the thrall was overthrown.

Meanwhile a boon: if not your swords,
Give us your sympathy at need;
Show us the friendship which affords
At least to let its pockets bleed;
And get your tradesmen kindly to forgo
Their traffic with a common foe.
O. S.



[It may be interesting to compare modern war items with some which have been culled from our own contemporary records of the past.]

From The Early British Weekly, circ. 50 B.C.:—

The Chief Druid's Fund to provide woad for our gallant troops at the Front continues to progress.

Tried yesterday for flint-and-steel signalling to the enemy, a Roman spy was convicted and axed.

News from Rome continues to show that the capital of the enemy is growing very uneasy. A force of special lictors has been enrolled to keep order in the event of a popular rising.

An account of the fighting by an Eye-Witness with the Headquarters of Cassivelaunus appears on another page.

From The Saxon Chronicle, 878 A.D.:—

King Alfred has given his patronage to a scheme for sending comforts to our troops in the trenches. Contributions are already pouring in, and it is said that the King was particularly touched by a gift of confectionery from the wife of a humble neatherd.

From The Saxon Standard, 1065 A.D.:—

The Norman Lie Factory continues to try to frighten us by means of invasion stories. The latest tale of terror is to the effect that a great army is to be landed at Hastings before we know where we are. We are to be crushed under the mailed fist of Normandy. The General Staff of King Harold can, we think, be trusted to deal with such dangers—when they come.



UNWRITTEN LETTERS TO THE KAISER.

No. IX.

(From General von Bernhardi.)

All-Highest War Lord,—To have received from you a letter written in your own gracious and weapon-bearing hand is an honourable privilege, under the weight of which many a General might have felt his knees tremble, and I confess that I too, though used to your Majesty's kindnesses, have not been unmoved.

Your Majesty asks me what I now think of this war of mine—I quote your words—and goes on to insinuate that in some measure the humble books that I have from time to time written, and the conversations I have held with your supreme self and with others, are responsible for what is now taking place in France, Flanders, and the Eastern seat of war. This insinuation I must with all my strength repudiate. It is true that I have been an advocate of war. For the Germans it was necessary that war should be the object of their policy in order that when the hour struck they might be able to attack their foes under the most favourable conditions and conquer them in the shortest possible time. But in saying this I made myself merely the echo of your Majesty's speeches and the faithful interpreter of your august mind. When you in words of matchless eloquence spoke of the mailed fist and bade your recruits shoot their parents rather than disobey their Kaiser, a humble General like myself could not go far wrong if he supposed that the thought of war was constantly in your Imperial mind. No other nation, I knew, had the purpose of attacking us, and I assumed therefore that if we were to gain the world-power at which we aimed we must be ready to attack other nations. Everything, however, depended on the conditions and the moment.

As for a war begun, as this war was begun, in a sudden fit of temper, I must use frankness with your Majesty and say that I never contemplated it. War against France—yes; and war against Russia, if needs must be, though even then I deny that we ought to have made ourselves the mere instrument of Austrian ambitions and allowed ourselves to be dragged into danger for the beaux yeux of the Ballplatz. But to manage things so ill as to make it certain that England must declare against us and that Italy must refuse to help us—this, indeed, was the masterstroke of stupidity. Your Majesty will, no doubt, say that this was the fault of Bethmann-Hollweg and von Jagow, but I am not sure that you yourself must not share with them the responsibility, for it was you who lost your head and gave the final word—which, of course, no one else could have given. You could have spared Belgium and kept England out of the war, so as to deal with her alone at a later date, but you took the bit between your autocratic teeth, and, alas, there was nobody who could stop you.

I say again, this is not my war. I never imagined it or planned it in this way, and I decline to be made responsible for it. I wanted a war that might be quickly prosperous and as safe for Germany as any war can be—a war of which we might keep the management in our own hands with great profit to ourselves. But now, though only four months have passed, we have lost the reins and Fate has taken them up and is directing the course of things. When that happens anything may happen. It is useless, therefore, to turn round and make accusations which are not founded in reason. My system was a good one and is still good, but it cannot now be used. There is nothing for it now except to continue hammering with our heads against a stone wall, which is not an agreeable occupation even when the heads are German.

Your Majesty's faithful subject,

Von Bernhardi.