A red-coated figure, covered with the stains of hard riding, approached them, bowing low. In his hand he held a magnificent fox's brush.
"This has been unanimously awarded to you, Sir," he said, "as a memento of the finest ride in the annals of the Chingerley Hunt."
And, as Ralph and his bride raised the brush to their lips, from the admiring throng which pressed about them went up that thrilling immemorial hunting chorus, "Tally-ho! Yoicks forrard! Rah! Rah!"
A Pufflecombe Worthy speaks. "You be telling us, James Buzzicott, 'bout this 'ere Loovane there's s’much tark over in the papers, an' the destruction of a gran' ole building. But wot do ee zay, James Buzzicott, 'bout Pufflecombe and t'old 'Bell an' Horns' if us be invaded? Wot do ee zay 'bout that?"
We, the undersigned, having carefully considered the situation in all its bearings and applications, have come to the decision that it is no longer consonant with the self-respect of Englishmen to share a name with the great swollen-headed German aggressor—the despiser of treaties, the desecrator of Belgium and the foe of the liberty of the world. We therefore give notice that from now and henceforward we renounce the name of William in all its variations.
(Signed)
William Archer.
William Ashmead-Bartlett.
William Boosey.
Burglar Bill (Shade of).
Willie Clarkson.
Will Crooks.
William de Morgan.
Will Evans
Gulielmo Ferrero.
William Gunn.
William Knight.
William le Queux.
Wilhelm Meister (Shade of).
Billy Merson.
William Osler.
Willy Pogany.
William Ramsay.
William Shakspeare (Shade of).
William the Silent (Shade of).
William Strang.
Bill Sikes (Shade of).
William Watson.
William Whiteley, Ltd.
Dear Mr. Punch,—I thought you would like to hear about the Intelligence Bureau which we have established at home since the War broke out. It is run on German lines and so far has been most successful, although there are serious risks.
Clarence thought of it. He is my cleverest brother. He got the idea from a newspaper. Before the War we weren't allowed to read anything in the papers but the cricket scores, but now we may read all.
The Bureau works like this. Clarence goes to mother and says, "May we go fishing this afternoon?" Mother says "No," and hurries off to the sewing meeting somewhere. They are all making things for soldiers, and soldiers' wives and children, and Belgian peasants. Briefly, when she's gone, Clarence writes on a piece of paper the fact that Mother has no objection to our fishing, shows it to our governess, and off we go. Isn't that clever of Germany? When mother returns she forgets to ask of the governess what we have been doing, and it is all right.
The other week-end mother went away and wrote to Clarence that we were to be sure to go to the children's service on Sunday afternoon. Clarence read the letter aloud, and when it came to that part he said, instead of "children's service on Sunday afternoon," something about a picnic on Monday. That is what he calls editing, which is the special duty of an Intelligence Bureau.
Hoping that other children may find our example useful,
I remain,
Yours truly,
The Return to Culture.
"Germans Falling back on the Muse."
North Mail.
