Zealous Policeman (on German Spy duty, having got motorist's name and address, etc., and received, in answer to his further question, "And is this lady your wife!" a torrent of oaths very much in the vernacular). "Oh! pass along; you're a Britisher all right."
While cordially endorsing all the deserved tributes that have lately been paid to the tact and loyalty of our daily Press, we venture to express a hope that the practice of printing every kind of contradictory war report will not become of universal application to other forms of intelligence.
Imagine, for example, being confronted with this kind of thing in the Cricket specials:
KENT v. LANCASHIRE.
The Great Match Begun.
A telegram from Canterbury, dated 11 A.M., Aug 18th, states that the great match has actually begun. No details are given.
Amazing Lancastrian Victory.
Rumour's Agency learns that the resistance of Kent has everywhere been entirely overcome; no fewer than forty-three of the home side have been dismissed for sixteen runs. Twenty-nine wickets fell before lunch.
Maidstone, Aug. 19. [Delayed in transmission].—The team has arrived in Canterbury. Captain Troughton, stirring address, pointed out that that hostilities had been forced upon the county, which however would not be found unprepared. The greatest enthusiasm prevails among the team, who are in capital health. Woolley especially was never in better form.
Startling Report.
A private telegram received in Liverpool states that Sharp took seventeen wickets for no runs in eleven minutes. Up to the time of going to press this had not been officially confirmed.
Dover.—No credence is attached here to the reported success of Lancashire. It is pointed out that in any case the figures given must be greatly overestimated, not more than eleven men employed on either side. Most probably the casualties include both umpires and spectators, and these losses would have no real effect on the game.
Manchester.—It is confirmed here that Woolley has resigned.
Canterbury, noon, Aug. 18. (From our Special Correspondent.)—At last I am able to send you definite information. Amidst a scene of breathless enthusiasm the two Captains prepared to toss. A roar of cheering soon afterwards proclaimed that the coin had declared in favour of———
[Message breaks off here and has evidently been censored.]
Folkestone unofficial wires state that at lunch the scores stood—Kent all out 463; Lancashire 14 for 2 wickets (both taken by Woolley).
Stop Press.
The Press Bureau have just issued a statement that no play has yet been possible in the Kent v. Lancashire match on account of rain.
"Pingoism in Japan may be matched by Jingoism here."—Pittsburgh Press.
Pingoism should be carefully distinguished from pongoism.
"Silence of the British Virgil.
The awful silence of the British virgil in the North Sea is unbroken still."
Newcastle Daily Journal.
We are glad to see our old friend Virgil spoken of as British. It is, no doubt, the writer's forcible way of indicating Italy's sympathy.
