Page:Once a Week Jul - Dec 1859.pdf/552

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December 24, 1859.]
A STORY-TELLING PARTY.
541


British public should suggest that there were modest cows in the pasturages he was flying by, and young corruptible heifers, I have only to remark that Mr. Saxon was much above their level. As it was day, moreover, he could not offend the moon. Of course I share the popular belief that we were born in trousers, and never get out of them. I would merely observe that the case of Mr. Saxon was an exception to the rigid rule. Besides, since he was only relinquishing one pair to assume another, the offence, however grievous, was but momentary, you will admit. Bad he done all the honours to the renowned modesty of this island, he would have drawn the second pair over the first. I can only excuse his not doing this by the declaration that he did not think of it, and absolutely saw no harm in what he was doing. So far then we will exonerate him. Unfortunately the thought of a change had not struck him till he had shot ahead some miles. And, again, very un- fortunately, as we say when he would cite instances clearly fated, the young gentleman took off his tight flannels before he opened his carpet- bag to disengage his thick tweeds. Mr. Saxon is of somewhat hasty temperament, slow to conceive — quick to execute; a fine quality which occasion- ally leads to trouble; for while he was unstrap- ping his bag the train insensibly slackened speed, and suddenly stopped. On perceiving this alarm- ing fact, Mr. Saxon pulled at the straps with tremendous vigour a second or so, and then looked out of the window with a face outwardly as composed as any ordinary traveller with no burden on his mind and with clothing to his legs, may wear. What the feelings of a bashful man so placed, must have been, I need not tell you. Analysis, if we wished to defend him before a jury of prudes, might be justifiable; but you will not require it. Mr. Saxon’s heart gave a bound. There was a lady addressing the guard, who pointed down in the direction of Mr. Saxon’s head, and led her swiftly on. Mr. Saxon made a final effort to array himself in one or the other pair, gave it despairingly up, and thought it best to block the window and look extremely unin- viting. He could not believe that his fortune could be so cruel as to send this lady straight to him at a time when, without wishing to be un- courteous, he profoundly devoted her to Jericho. He was forgetful of his experience. Some men have a great hoard of experience, and only see it by the lurid light of new distresses. Now, Mr. Saxon should, no doubt, have spoken and warned the lady off. He stuttered, — I have told you. He did speak, but he was unintelligible. The guard wrenched at the door. Mr. Saxon had just time to hide his nether-failings under a railway- rug, which he had providentially with him, when the door opened and the lady became his com- panion. The train whistled blithely, and off they went.

“Now my friend Harry Saxon tells me he con- siders it a curious thing that the lady, after a little while, began to regard him with something like astonishment. But the fact does not sur- prise me, who know him. Nervousness is a part of bashfulness; and, affected by nervousness, we are; apt, without knowing it, to grimace strangely. To speak metaphysically, and with enlightened obscurity, we think of ourselves to such an excess, that we grow oblivious of our actions. I dare say you all understand.

“M — adam! ’ said Harry, after several im- potent efforts.

“The lady replied, ‘ Sir,’ or ‘ Yes.’ He chronicles it exactly, but I forget.

“Ha . . . ha — are you going the whole way to T Town? ’ said Harry, gasping and holding on his rug with both hands.

“‘No, sir,’ said the lady, haughtily, coldly, and shortly.

“‘What a blessing! ’ thought Harry, sinking back.

“The lady opened a book.

“At the next station, Harry looked at her im- ploringly. She would not go. Perhaps, thought Harry, she’s going on to the last station but one! There he was sure the carriage would be filled.

“He begged politely of her to tell him when she intended to quit the train.

“Really! ’ said the lady. May I inquire, sir, why you are so anxious to know? ’

“‘Not at all,’ said Harry, speaking as enig- matically as he looked.

“The lady resumed her reading. An old gentle- man, with two young ladies, now entered the carriage. Harry tightened and compressed the rug, and sat glaring at them.

“‘At all events,’ thought Harry, ‘they can’t make mo move.’ This consolatory notion had hardly whispered its barren comfort to him, when i a slight shock was felt. He saved himself from going into the old gentleman’s arms. Happily, the ladies were too much alarmed to notice his exces- sive discomposure.

“‘ What’s the matter?’ said the old gentleman.

“The train had come to a stand.

“‘ Oh! what is it? ’ cried all the ladies.

“ Stop a minute, my dears,’ said the old gen- tleman. Don’t be alarmed. Perhaps one of us had better get out and speak to the guard.’

“‘ Oh, papa, you shall not go! ’ exclaimed the young ladies: and the one who was alone ex- claimed,

“‘ Perhaps we shall be safer out than in.’

“The young ladies reiterated that their papa should not go. A common eye was directed to Harry, who sat, with a fiery face, trying to appear perfectly unconscious.

“‘Well, if I mayn’t go,’ said the old gentle- man, ‘ perhaps this gentleman will? ’

“Here was a direct appeal. Harry pretended not to hear.

“‘ Oh! it must be something dreadful! ’ cried the ladies.

“‘Will you oblige us, sir?’ said the solitary lady, ‘ by getting out and speaking to the guard? ’

“She addressed poor Harry.

“ Mr. Saxon grimaced horribly. ‘ I should be h - - - happy,’ he began.

“‘ Just ask him if there’s any apprehension of danger,’ said the old gentleman, thinking that i he spoke in the assenting tense. I

“‘ I k - - - I k - - - can’t! ’ says Harry.

“The ladies regarded him with wonder. All