he disabled my judgment: this is called the 80
'reply churlish.' If again, it was not well cut, he
would answer, I spake not true: this is called
the 'reproof valiant': if again, it was not well
cut, he would say, I lie: this is called the
'countercheck quarrelsome': and so to the 'lie
circumstantial,' and the 'lie direct.'
Jaq. And how oft did you say his beard was
not well cut? 88
Touch. I durst go no further than the 'lie
circumstantial,' nor he durst not give me the 'lie
direct'; and so we measured swords and parted.
Jaq. Can you nominate in order now the de-
grees of the lie? 93
Touch. O sir, we quarrel in print; by the
book, as you have books for good manners: I
will name you the degrees. The first, the 'retort
courteous'; the second, the 'quip modest'; the
third, the 'reply churlish'; the fourth, the 're-
proof valiant'; the fifth, the 'countercheck 99
quarrelsome'; the sixth, the 'lie with circum-
stance'; the seventh, the 'lie direct.' All these
you may avoid but the lie direct; and you may
avoid that too, with an 'if.' I knew when seven
justices could not take up a quarrel; but when
the parties were met themselves, one of them
thought but of an 'if,' as 'If you said so, then I
said so'; and they shook hands and swore
brothers. Your 'if' is the only peace-maker;
much virtue in 'if.' 109
Jaq. Is not this a rare fellow, my lord? he's
as good at anything, and yet a fool.
85 countercheck: rebuke
86 circumstantial: indirect
91 measured swords: fought a few passes
92 nominate: name
95 book; cf. n.
