things essential for every Christian to know, what will become of you?" asked his father, getting up. "I am dissatisfied with you, and Piotr Ignatyevitch"—he was the professor—"is dissatisfied with you .... so I am compelled to punish you."
Father and pedagogue both found fault with him, and Serozha was doubtless making bad work of it. Yet it could not possibly be said that he was a stupid boy; on the contrary, he was far superior to those whom his teacher held up to him as examples. From his father's point of view, he did not want to learn what was taught him. In reality, it was because he could not learn it. He could not for the reason that his mind had needs more essential to him than those that his father and the pedagogue supposed. These needs were wholly opposed to what they gave him, and he revolted against his teachers.
He was only nine years old. He was only a child; but he knew his own soul. It was dear to him; he guarded it jealously, as the eyelid guards the eye; and no one should force a way in without the key of love. His teachers blamed him for being unwilling to learn, and yet he was all on fire with the yearning for knowledge; and he learned from Kapitonuitch, his old nurse, Nadenka, and Vasili Lukitch, but not from his teachers. The water which the father and the pedagogue poured on the mill-wheel was wasted, but the work was done in another place.
His father punished Serozha by not letting him go to see Nadenka; but his punishment turned out to be an advantage. Vasili Lukitch was in good humor, and taught him how to make wind-mills. The whole afternoon was spent in working and thinking of the ways and means to make the mill go. Should he fix wings to it, or arrange it so he could turn it himself? He forgot about his mother all the evening; but after he had got into bed, he suddenly remembered her, and he prayed in his own fashion that she might cease to hide herself from him, and make him a visit the next day, which was his birthday.
