comfort to me simply to be with you….’ He spoke then for a long while, tenderly, caressingly. For now that she was lying beside him the resemblance to Yūgao was more than ever complete. But happy though he would have been to remain far longer at her side, he was still able to see that his behaviour had been in the highest degree rash and inconsiderate. It was growing late; at any moment some one might return to the room and discover them. ‘Do not think the worse of me for what has happened this evening,’ he said at last, rising from the couch; ‘it would distress me very much if you did. I know quite well that there are people who never allow their feelings to get the better of them. I can only say that I am differently made. But of this at least I can assure you: whatever you may think of me, such outbursts are not due in my case merely to some frivolous impulse of the moment. Once my affections are aroused they are boundless both in time and extent. You need not fear that I shall ever act in such a way as to harm your good name. All I ask is that I may sometimes be allowed to talk as I have talked to-night; and perhaps I may even hope that you will occasionally answer me in the same spirit.’
He spoke gently, reasonably, but she was now beside herself with agitation, and made no intelligible reply.
‘I see that I have made a great mistake,’ he said at last. ‘I always thought that we got on unusually well together; but it is now clear that the friendship was all on my side. For I cannot think that my showing a little affection would so much perturb you unless you definitely disliked me….’ He broke off, and left the room with a final entreaty that she would speak to no one of what had occurred.
Though Tamakatsura was no longer very young, she was still entirely innocent, and this made her judge Genji’s conduct more harshly than she would otherwise have done.
